I’m so tired of my job. I almost dread going to work every day now, especially on month ends and beginning of the month. Day in day out same old same old.  Geez…

Feel like changing a job, but I know that’s easier said than done.  Just wish I could get out of this routine while still doing something I like and can pay my bills.

But then again, I don’t know what I like doing. So that’s the problematic part.  Meh.

Ugh, or maybe I just need a break.  One holiday a year is just WAY TOO LITTLE.  How does one survive with just ONE holiday per year?!  *groans*

… I will still make the same decisions that I had made.

That’s how I want my life to be – no regrets. Or at least, as minimal as possible.

If it’s meant to be yours, it will be in the end.  If two people are meant to be together, they will be in the end, no matter what happens in between.

In the event that we made mistakes, we learn from it and we move on – and of course, take care not to make the same mistake again.

One thing I’ve learnt – always be who you are.  Never change yourself for someone.  Because soon enough you’ll find that it doesn’t work that way.  Never does, never will be.

If the person cannot accept the bad side of the other party, then he/she does not deserve the good side of that person.  You can’t have both worlds.

Running away from the issue, or avoiding the issue when it happens, is not “accepting” it.  It’s just simply running away from it.  If you accept it, you won’t even run.  At least that’s how I see it.

I guess I should feel lucky to have met at least one person in my lifetime who had accepted me, for being me.  He had never made me feel that I’m inadequate, he had never yelled at me or shouted at me for being me – tempers, bad moods and all.  Too bad I had to let him go.

At the end of the day – no regrets.  No regrets for what I’ve done, no regrets for what I’m doing, and no regrets for what I’m going to do in the future.

That’s how I would want it to be.

Its been so tiring lately. I’m all exhausted. When will I be able break away from all these chains, these emotional rollercoasters, these routines…

Will all these be ending soon? I’m really just so tired…

I’m about three days early, but let’s not care about such minor details, shall we?

Singapore, through all the hardships, is finally 50 years old. Unfortunately, the man who had pushed Singapore to where she is on international stage has passed away earlier this year.  If only Mr Lee Kuan Yew would still be here, I’m sure he would be proud of what he had achieved as he watches the SG50 parade this coming Sunday.  Alas…

I’m not a patriotic person.  At least I don’t think I am.  I have lots of complaints about Singapore, constantly pointing out the flaws of the system, etc, when my overseas friends raved about the positive impressions they have on Singapore through various media.

I do, however, appreciate Singapore for where she is, what she is.  Although I’m upset that we do not have four seasons here, I’m glad that we also do not suffer from natural disasters.  We are relatively safe, geographically speaking, that is.  We have strict laws, but thanks to that we do not need to worry about random shooting in schools or malls.  We stressed on racial harmony, and even though there are tensions between different races, there’s no racial riots yet.

There were quite a few times in the past where I thought I would leave Singapore for good, and move to Finland with Reko.  Although I was excited about the idea at that time, there’s always another part of me wondering if I’d miss Singapore.  Then, I heard Kit Chan’s “Home”, and I realised the lyrics really hit home (pun not intended).

Here’s the lyrics (with the bold parts that resonates the most in me), followed by the MV thereafter:

Whenever I am feeling low, I look around me and I know.
There’s a place that will stay within me, wherever I may choose to go.
I will always recall the city, know every street and shore.
Sail down the river that brings us life, winding through my Singapore…

CHORUS:
This is home truly, where I know I must be.
Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows.
This is home surely, as my senses tell me.
This is where I won’t be alone.
For this is where I know it’s home.

Whenever there are troubles to go through, we’ll find a way to start anew.
There is comfort in the knowledge and home about its people too.
So we’ll build our dreams together, just like we’ve done before.
Just like the river that brings us life, there will always be Singapore..

(Repeat chorus)

For this is where, I know I’m home…

Whatever worries I may have for Singapore’s future, let’s cast it aside for now, and relish in the fact that Singapore has reached 50 years old, and hope there’s many more years to come for us to celebrate.  Happy 50th birthday, Singapore.  =)