Love

PMDD

Ever heard of this term?

I guess many people haven’t.

Me neither, till a few weeks back.

PMDD = Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

I’ve always thought the extreme change in my mood, the uncontrollable anger which I lashed out at people close to me, are just mere symptoms of the usual PMS. Just perhaps slightly more “severe” PMS.  But nope, they actually had a medical term for it.

PMDD.

I have no idea when this started.  But if one ask around, from people like Reko to xiao di to Bear, I’m sure they can tell you the same thing about me. I’m a relatively nice person, except when I’m in that kind of mood, and usually “that kind of mood” occurred during “that time of the month”.

Right.  Definition of PMDD:

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a condition in which a woman has severe depression symptoms, irritability, and tension before menstruation. The symptoms of PMDD are more severe than those seen with premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

PMS refers to a wide range of physical or emotional symptoms that typically occur about 5-11 days before a woman starts her monthly menstrual cycle. The symptoms usually stop when, or shortly after, her period begins.

– From PubMed Health

How did I stumble upon this medical term?  Well, during my latest tantrum (which was just a few days ago), Bear almost threw in the towel and call it quits.  He didn’t understand how I could still proclaim that I love him when I could easily flipped from just being a normal, caring girlfriend to someone who gets irritated, hung up and lambasted him over just a small thing that he said.  In my defense, I only wanted to show him articles of PMS (because he actually didn’t know it was the period that I’m having PMS).  I googled for “uncontrollable anger during PMS” (because it was really uncontrollable for me), and accidentally stumbled upon the articles that really talked about this symptom – uncontrollable anger.

The symptoms of PMDD are similar to those of PMS. However, they are generally more severe and debilitating and include a least one mood-related symptom. Symptoms occur during the week just before menstrual bleeding and usually improve within a few days after the period starts.

Five or more of the following symptoms must be present to diagnose PMDD, including one mood-related symptom:

• No interest in daily activities and relationships
• Fatigue or low energy
• Feeling of sadness or hopelessness, possible suicidal thoughts
• Feelings of tension or anxiety
• Feeling out of control
• Food cravings or binge eating
• Mood swings with periods of crying
• Panic attacks
• Irritability or anger that affects other people
• Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain
• Problems sleeping
• Trouble concentrating

From the same article as quoted above.  I looked through the list, and checked what symptoms I actually have.  Five or more symptoms should be observed before I could say I suffer from PMDD.

• Fatigue or low energy
• Feeling of sadness or hopelessness, possible suicidal thoughts
• Feelings of tension or anxiety
• Food cravings or binge eating
• Mood swings with periods of crying
• Irritability or anger that affects other people
• Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain

Seven symptoms.  I don’t think I’m a “borderline” case anymore.

Other websites are even more helpful in determining whether I am suffering from PMDD or not:

During this two-week period other symptoms are experienced as well, including the following:

• Anxiety and a feeling of being on edge.
• Severe mood swings up and down with tears, extreme sensitivity to abandonment, and rejection.
• Anger and increased conflict.
• Decreased interest in usual activities.
• Feelings of being overwhelmed as well as feeling out of control.
• Physical symptoms, including joint and muscle pain, as well as weight gain and headaches.

– From PsychCentral, World of Psychology

All of it.  Right there.

You have no idea how relieved I felt that I know there is actually a real medical condition out there that describes exactly what I’m going through.  All these years I’m just wondering if my willpower isn’t enough, why am I taking my close ones for granted and yelling at them for reasons I can’t fathom (only to feel extremely guilty after that), why do I have such foul temper and why can’t I change after so many years, etc etc.  Those bouts of anger are literally uncontrollable.  I know it’s just a small thing; I know there’s no need to get upset – I know.  I know, but I just can’t help myself.

It’s also the reason why I don’t gym when I’m nearing/during my period.  I’m not lazy; I just don’t have the strength to.  A usual 10min on the elliptical machine had to be cut short to around 5min because I just don’t have the energy.  I tried working out with the dumbbells yesterday and although I could go through the 6 reps, I couldn’t do more than 2 plankings, nor more than 2 reps of the leg raise.  And after the workout, I felt as if my body was dying.  Arms were aching so badly, thighs were feeling as if they were made of jelly, and even my toes were hurting.  And I was there wondering if I hadn’t warmed up enough, or was my form wrong.

And if that’s not bad enough, my weight yesterday morning was 62kg.  This morning – it went up to 63kg.  Gained 1kg in a day – despite not having rice at all for the entire day.  It’s just meat and vegetables.  And despite already not taking in rice/carbs, my tummy was grumbling with bloating and gas for the entire day yesterday, and this whole morning as well.

Treatments?  If any?

Non-pharmaceutical treatments for PMDD are almost the same as PMS.

• Cutting down on caffeine – something which I tried in the past and doesn’t work. In fact it backfired because lack of caffeine increased my irritability and my migraine attacks.
• Cutting down on sugars – I haven’t been really eating/drinking sweet stuff all along anyway. Doesn’t help.
• Increasing carbs-intake – Now this doesn’t make sense at all.  I’ve been eating rice all my entire life, and only reducing the intake recently.  But all along I have these PMDD symptoms – so I don’t think carbs play a part.

What’s next then?  I suggested antidepressants or birth control pills (they regulate the hormones), but Bear refused to allow me to take any sort of pills. Reko hadn’t want me to go for pills (for another issue) in the past either.  Yes I know pills have side effects on the body, and these side effects may even be permanent.  But then, what else can I do?