Was at the kitchen, washing my cup, when I suddenly realise…
… why am I angry at things I don’t really have control over?
Why should I care if my dad just kept smoking in the toilet, as long as he takes my clothes out before he does?
Why should I care if someone doesn’t do or talk things the way I want them to?
Why put my own health in peril when I can’t control those things?
I’m going 34 this year. I should just be happy and glad that I’m still alive, I’m surviving well enough from paycheck to paycheck, with some savings in between. I’ll just get a 2-room HDB next year, move out, live by myself… take care of myself, live my life the way I want it to be. I’m not that ugly – I think I look average, and all right for my age.
And if I’m terminally sick? Well… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll seek treatment, maybe I won’t. Am I ready to die? I’d be lying if I say I am, but there’s really nothing much to live for in my life anyway. Just live every day as it is. Take the money and go to places I wanna go before I die.
Yeah. I should just live my life happy. ^_^
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