「用心」去愛

每個人看見愛的時間,都不會一樣;每個人決定投入一段感情的時間點,也不盡相同。妳好像比較早喜歡他──奇妙的是這世界妳越是喜歡的人,妳喜歡他的時間點,往往都會發生得比他喜歡妳的時間早。但是那沒有關係,妳不會計較這個,妳只要他後來也剛剛好喜歡妳就好。

妳用心觀察他的一切,妳很早就知道,他喜歡吃什麼東西?喜歡穿什麼衣服?而且妳一旦知道了,就很難會忘記。妳認為女生本來就比男生細心,所以在交往後,妳也只會跟他計較大的事情:可能是幾個對你們來說很重要的日子、可能是大多數的情侶們都應該會有的表示。妳不想做那個總是要用技巧提醒他的人,因為妳從來沒有想過愛需要那麼多技巧,妳心目中的「愛」就是當妳很喜歡一個人,就會很直接地想要對對方好。

妳從沒想到的,是他後來會習慣妳對他的好,習慣妳對他的退讓。妳一直以為當妳對一個人好,如果他接受了,那應該就是一個開始。於是,妳在那個開始裡等著,妳不知道自己在等什麼?也許妳在等的是一種溫暖的感覺,妳沒有要他全數回報,妳只希望他偶爾也能夠讓妳知道,其實妳所做的一切,他都明白。後來,反而是妳懂了,妳之所以一直沒有等到那個感謝的擁抱,並不是因為他不知道,而是他一但承認自己知道了,那他就要還──不是所有跟妳談愛的人,都想要償還妳曾經對他的感情;不是所有跟妳談愛的人,都願意像妳那麼勇敢地想為將來而努力。

所以,我們才可以看見那些人,竟然可以在我們的傷心裡,最後還那麼無所謂的走開,彷彿那一切都不曾發生……妳這也才他離去的背影裡看懂了,一個從來就不曾付出的人,本來就不曾失去,當然更不會懂妳的遺憾和可惜。

終於,妳開始整理自己的感情,那是妳從愛上他開始,就逐漸混亂的感情。妳發現感情本來就應該很簡單,跟性別無關、跟細心無關,感情只跟「心」有關,那是當你真的很愛一個人,就會把他放在心底;也只有當你把一個人真的放在心底,你才能真正「用心」去愛他。

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Small update!

Two more days to Hong Kong trip with parents! And I haven’t even start packing my luggage yet, damn.

Having my dinner at Percolate now, chilling to the relaxed atmosphere while watching the rain pouring outside… It’s kinda therapeutic, to be honest.

Haven’t been updating this blog for awhile… But then again there’s nothing much to write about anyway. Nowadays I’m just meeting up with Bruno every now and then, for dinner after work, and on some Saturdays. It’s always nice hanging out with him – no pressure, no expectations, no nothing. Just two relaxed souls, with not much problems going anywhere and everywhere. We kinda share the same preference for food too (except that he loves lamb and I don’t), we hate hot weather, we love to walk (though he needs to rest pretty often), and we have somewhat similar interests. We talked about everything and anything… There’s really no taboo topics between us. Lol.

I just helped him celebrated his birthday yesterday. We finally tried the salted egg lava croissant at Antoinette, and after that I brought him to S.E.A. Aquarium at RWS. We both hadn’t been there before, so we kinda enjoyed ourselves there. But we both got so exhausted at the end of the day lol. Though I guess that’s a good thing? :3 I’m not the best person to hang out with, but I hope he truly did enjoy himself! :P

I’m just hoping this relatively new friendship will last for a long long time to come, no matter what may happen in between. :)

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以后别做朋友,朋友不能牵手。
想爱你的冲动,我只能笑着带过。
最好的朋友,有些梦不能说出口。。。
就不用承担会失去你的心痛。

好朋友只是朋友

郁可唯

好朋友只是朋友
作詞:黃婷
作曲:徐偉銘

聽你說什麼我都很快樂
接近你連影子都微笑著
幾千隻紙鶴你都耐心地陪著我折
卻怎麼都折不掉那道無形的隔閡

越懂你陪著你就越寂寞
靈魂那麼美我卻碰不得
感覺再熾熱也不能讓飛蛾去撲火
靠近你的夢難道就能不失落

好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友 不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 就一個人走 無所求
好朋友只是朋友 只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭 不打擾你的自由

認識你也許我就足夠了
緣分的深淺我都不管了
可能你感動也看不見我心如刀割
哪怕很痛過 至少就不算錯過

好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友 不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 就一個人走 無所求
好朋友只是朋友 只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭 不打擾你的自由

愛人不是最好的朋友
朋友再好也不能牽手
感情在天平兩頭 誰都怕太沈重

好朋友只是朋友 還是朋友 不能夠佔有
好朋友瘋狂以後 還是一個人走 無所求
好朋友只是朋友 只能保留 一點點溫柔
我知道什麽時候回頭 不打擾你的自由

Interesting Sunday!

Yeah, the title is kinda lame, but heck.

Met up with Bruno today to go Cirque du Soleil – Totem, their second last show of their leg in Singapore.  Initially when Bruno was asking if I’m interested to go to this show, I was like “nooo I don’t like musical :3 “.  Then he was like “WTF this isn’t musical.”  He then showed me a few videos… and I realised okay, this is something like acrobatics.  But since I wasn’t like too familiar with him yet (I think we haven’t even met up when he was telling me about Cirque), I told him maybe not… He sounded really disappointed though, coz he couldn’t find anyone else to go with him.  And he would really love to attend it…

A couple of weeks later (after we met up for the first time), he mentioned about it again and I relented and say OK, I’ll go if he really can’t find anyone to go with him.  Well, he really couldn’t get anyone, so yup, we went today, on their last day of performance, the second last show.

The show was totally spectacular.  Every segment has their breathtaking moments, and some are hilarious.  Bruno and I found out that our favourite segment is actually the same one, so that’s pretty cool.  This is just our third time meeting, but we were kinda like old friends already.  Silent moments were totally not awkward at all too.  And he’s such a persuasive person, lol.  I hated Vietnam coffee, and he could managed to convince me to try his favourite Vietnamese coffee – Trung Nguyen’s Legendee.  It has a similar taste to civet cat’s poo coffee, and it’s priced at an alarming price – SGD16.50 for a small cup!  He still treated me to it though… as he said I should try it at least once.  OK fine…. It’s very sweet actually.  Strong and sweet.  To be honest, I preferred the one that he ordered for himself – Passion (if I didn’t remember the name wrongly).

The Legendee on left, and Passion on right.

We lingered in the cafe for a good while, because he needed to charge his tablet and there’s free wifi in there too. Then while we were thinking of where to go for dinner, he suddenly suggested Vietnamese food.  Well I’m really not a fan of Vietnamese food, but somehow he again managed to convince me to go try one restaurant that he feels has really good Vietnamese food, and so we went.

It was this small restaurant at Grandlink Square called Little Vietnam, and to be honest, it’s really not a place where I would even take a second glance if I pass by it.  But okay, we were seated indoors, and we looked over the menu to decide what we could order.  He decided to order the braised duck because he said it was really good (he did know that I should be avoiding duck and chicken though), and we also added a dish of stir fry kangkong which he specifically asked for no chilli (thanks, Bruno).  So when the dishes came, I tried the duck and boy, the meat was bursting with flavour with every bite.  It was spicy, but for some reason only my lips were tingly, and my throat felt fine.  There’s totally no need to drink water at all because I don’t feel the spiciness in my mouth!  That was a pretty surprising experience.

The kang kong that came along was good too.  Usually if I asked for the non-spicy version, either it’s super salty or it’s just totally tasteless.  The chef though, managed to get it done just right.  Heavy on taste, yet not overly salty.  I don’t need to reach for the water even after eating half of that dish of kang kong.  The beef slices were flavourful and tender too.  Very nice!

Oh yeah,  he ordered Vietnamese coffee again, before remembering that he would get migraines if he drank too much coffee.  In the end he only drank about half of it, and I helped him finished the other half, haha!

So yup, that kinda summed up what happened today… a bit tiring for the both of us because we both really kinda disliked going out on Sundays (he made an exception for Cirque du Soleil), but interesting for me because there’s so many “firsts” today!  And really, big thanks to Bruno for managing to convince me to go for the Totem show.  That was an awesome, eye-opening and hilarious experience.  ^_^

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忽然间,好累。

身心,好累。

戴着面具微笑着,真的,好累。

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有多少人,明明分手了,却还爱着。
有多少人,明明还爱着,却说放手了。
有多少人,明明难过,却还微笑着说我很好。

哭的时候没人哄,于是学会了坚强。
怕的时候没人陪,于是学会了承受。
累的时候没人可以依靠,于是学会了自主。
一个人如果不坚强,软弱给谁看…?