A Random Mix

This is almost like an old wish coming true. I still remembered, a long time ago, that I had desperately wished that I had access to mobile blogging. That was like, seven years ago, when blogging was a new “in” thing then.

It’s really amazing how technology has evolved. I’m now typing this in my office, using my iPhone to connect to the Internet with the 3G network. What’s next? Perhaps we could just think out loud what we wanted to blog, and it’ll appear in our websites? O.o Scary thought, but for some reason I think it might just be the situation in the future…

Talking about the future. Reko had been asking me plenty of times that given a choice, would I want to go to the Maldives or take an Alaskan cruise? Damn… Both sound just as good, if you asked me. I really want to go to the Maldives before thy submerged die to the rapidly rising sea level. But I also want to feast my eyes in the majestic ice fjords before they all melt away as global warming worsens. Argh… Decisions, decisions T_T

On another note, I’ve been thinking whether if it’s time for me to change my job. Don’t get me wrong – the company is still treating me well. I just realized that I’ve been dreading to go work every morning, something which I never experienced in the past. My relationship with my colleagues has been very fragile… Even though they are of my age and sometimes there are topics to talk about, most of the time I just don’t click with them. I game; they don’t. I love instrumental movie OSTs; they don’t even notice the music in the background. Sigh… After working with them for 6 years, I thought I don’t need to wear a mask in front of them anymore. But the moment I was straight and direct with them, they took offense. I’m like, what…?

Recently there’s an even more ridiculous issue. A colleague of mine, not in the direct same department as me but we shared the same office, actually told me this: “I’ve been working for such a long time, so this is my advice to you. Don’t be so capable at work, people are not going to like it.”

…

What the…? So people are talking behind my back because I’m capable? And it’s not my fault that they are less capable than me, right? So am I supposed to pretend that I can’t finish my work and drag all the stuff just so that I won’t seem so “capable”? Am I supposed to just blindly follow the instructions when it’s obvious that there are better alternatives out there? I simply pointed out that some things can be done better, in a more efficient way. It’s not really “my fault” that the supervisor decided to use my suggestion, is it? And if it benefits all parties, why are they complaining?

“You don’t understand. You need to stand in their shoes and think how they’d feel.”

Funny. My suggestions had helped them. If someone’s suggestion had helped me, I’d be grateful for it.

“No you are wrong. They’d think that you are just trying to prove that you are more capable than them.”

…

Honestly, I was rendered speechless. There must be something wrong with their thinking if that’s really what they thought. I mean, if all the staff thinks like that, the company gonna just go bust eventually. -_-;

Even though I know I didn’t do anything wrong, I felt slightly disturbed by what my colleague said. After a day or two, I managed to get hold of one of my supervisors alone and asked her if I really appeared as if I’m trying to show off. She laughed and said, “You ARE capable. You don’t need to show it off. We all can see that.”. Still perturbed, I told her about the conversation that took place. She frowned and shook her head in displeasure. She told me not to care about what others said and just concentrate on doing my work. She has the same comment too: “If that’s what they think, then there must be something wrong with them.”

Now I felt better, but it still doesn’t hide the fact that some of my colleagues are unhappy with me. I find it increasingly hard to pretend that everything is fine and dandy, and that I had to smile at their jokes and partake in their aimless chats.

Which prompts me to start wondering if it’s time to change a working environment…? Despite of the human relationship problems, I like it here. The view is one of the best, the location is great, the company is still maintaining their perks to the employees, my pay is pretty good (given my qualification) and my supervisors have been great too. Also, I’ve no idea if I’d be moving, if at all, to any other countries once Reko graduates. All these are the reasons why I’m still hesitating to make a move.

Maybe some day, when I reach my limit of putting on a mask…