Yeah… The winter trip has been cancelled, because dearie’s school refused to let him be away from class for one whole month.
Sigh.
There goes my uber cold winter trip… and that Saariselkä cabin… :(
On the bright side, I’ll be going over instead in May and December next year, and there’ll be direct Finnair flights from Changi Airport to Helsinki from May onwards! :D So that’s something positive, I guess. Can’t keep dwelling on the sad stuff anyway… >.<
Had a brief chat with a friend on MSN today. A neighbour of his fell to his death at his block.
It reminded me of what I witnessed a couple of years back at my own block’s void deck. I remembered it was 10+pm and I was walking back home. When I reached the void deck, I heard a couple of loud twacks, then something landed on the other side of the block. It was dark, but there was no mistake that it was someone who jumped/fell. Perhaps I should be thankful that it was dark… I didn’t see any blood. Several things ran through my mind. The loud twacks were actually the sound of snapped bamboo poles. Someone committed suicide. Even though he didn’t land right in front of me, I saw that last few seconds where his body hit the ground.
I think I was in a shock. I couldn’t even remember how I get home or whatsoever. I know for sure I wasn’t the one who called the ambulance. I think my mind was in too much of a blank to even function logically. The next thing I remembered was the police covering that area with a tent. Did I stood there until the police came? Or the police were already on their way due to someone calling for them before the incident happened? I don’t know. I don’t know how long I had been standing there.
Why would people want to commit suicide is beyond me. Is there really nothing that can solve their issues / problems? Life seems so fragile and unpredictable… It’s easy to say “oh I wish I’m dead, then there won’t be so many problems!”, but do they really think about how their deaths will affect people around them? How many of them regretted their decision the moment they were flying through the air? How many of them wished they hadn’t make that jump as they watched the ground rushed up to meet them?
There are so many sick / disabled people out there, cherishing their lives, treasuring every minute that they breathe – all glad that they were still alive, or being given the second chance to live. Yet there are people who so willingly threw theirs away.
The sound of the bamboo poles snapping and that loud, heavy thud… will be forever stuck in my mind. I tried to forget it. I tried. I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about it except to my family that “I think I saw some black thing fell from the block when I was coming home”. And then I tried to act nonchalant about it. I tried so hard to put it behind me… but I don’t think I will ever be able to forget it… that horrible, horrible sound of a life that ended right in front you.
Did it feel better to talk about it now after so long? I don’t know… I don’t feel relieved or that any burden had lifted…
I must be having some serious bouts of PMS. Cried rivers while watching below MTV. The lyrics and the MTV are so touching. :(
萧煌奇-你是我的眼
如果我能看得見 就能輕易的分辨白天黑夜 就能準確的在人群中牽住你的手 如果我能看得見 就能駕車帶你到處遨遊 就能驚喜的從背後給你一個擁抱 如果我能看得見 生命也許完全不同 可能我想要的我喜歡的我愛的 都不一樣 眼前的黑不是黑 你說的白是什麼白 人們說的天空藍 是我記憶中那團白雲背後的藍天 我望向你的臉 卻只能看見一片虛無 是不是上帝在我眼前遮住了簾 忘了掀開 你是我的眼 帶我領略四季的變換 你是我的眼 帶我穿越擁擠的人潮 你是我的眼 帶我閱讀浩瀚的書海 因為你是我的眼 讓我看見這世界就在我眼前 就在我眼前 就在我眼前