Insomnia…

I’m so tired.  Could hardly fall asleep on my own last two weeks – had to depend on Fedac to sleep.  Sometimes if I’m lucky, I can fall into a deep sleep after taking Fedac, but most times I’d be drifting in and out of sleep even after Fedac.  Body would be so warm at night that I would wake up even in a drug-induced sleep.

Geez, and I don’t even know what caused this.  All I know is the anxiety of not being able to fall asleep is adding on to the insomnia.

I downloaded a sound app yesterday and tried to use it last night while staying off the pill.  Not sure if it really helped or I’m just really too tired, but I think I did sleep a little.  I still drifted in and out of sleep though – went to bed at around 9.30pm, tossed and turned in bed (my eyes were closed but my mind was rather awake as I can still hear the sounds from the app), drifted to sleep a little, but woke up fully at around 11.45pm because I was too hot, despite having the aircon turned on.  I switched on the fan, and tried to go back to sleep again.  I was even aware of the exact moment the sound app had stopped (I set timer to 4 hours), so I was apparently still drifting in and out of sleep at 1.30am (apparently my mind was awake then) since my sound app was supposed to end at that time.  I was aware of every turn in the bed, even though my eyes were closed.

It was a restless “sleep” – if you would call that a sleep.  But well, on the positive side, I didn’t take Fedac.  However, after such fitful “sleep” for the past two weeks, I’m literally looking like a panda now, and generally feeling tired throughout the day.

I certainly hope the situation will improve.  I have no idea why this is happening geez.  I’m not stressed about anything either.  Please just let me have a good sleep every night….

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