Almost a year…

It was September 2019 when I last updated this blog.

Never found any motivation to update it ever since.

Went on a Hokkaido trip with my Mom and Bruno in Oct’2019, got delayed when coming back due to a typhoon, slept over at Narita Airport, and then chaos ensued after I came back – didn’t really have time to write anything at all.

Some stuff that had happened:-

  • I’ve ended things with Bruno. We are merely good friends now, and probably met up like once a month or something.
  • Covid-19 happened. Everyone knows about this, there’s nothing much to say. I’m just glad I have been wearing a mask on public transport since I came back from Japan last year. Not gonna change this habit any time soon.
  • Cancelled our Taiwan trip which was supposed to happen in March 2020. Was pretty sad about it but it was also a relief at the same time. It was kinda stressful to travel with my cousins…
  • Don’t foresee any travelling anytime soon due to 1) Oracle project at work; 2) well, Covid-19.
  • Singapore went into semi-lockdown mode called Circuit Breaker in end March, and lasted till 2nd June. We had to work from home for about 2 months – and it was during this time I got closer (slightly – on my end only I suppose) with Japheth, someone whom I’ve never even talk to when we were in office previously. I suppose I should thank IMOS?
  • Now I’m back in office everyday, even though the work that I’m doing can be done at home. Oh well.

Talking about Japheth… all I can say is he’s really a nice person. He isn’t good looking, but he has a very positive personality. I didn’t know I cared about him until one day while WFH, I heard his voice being very different over a video call. It was almost like he was soul-less, and sounded so tired. I still did not talk to him much at that time, but I decided to just send him a private message on Teams to see if he’s okay and if he’s tired. His simple reply: “Yeah, tired.”

I supposed he was totally bogged down by IMOS issues, and literally everyone in office was calling him and asking him to help with IMOS (well I was one of them). It was kinda alarming to hear that such a positive young man suddenly sounding so depressed. I immediately reached out to his lunch kaki whom I was on closer terms with to alert him about this, and told him to let Japheth’s manager know that he’s being overwhelmed. One thing led to another, and I think his manager did reached out to him to make sure he’s okay. A day later he sounded better – thank goodness.

Slowly though, I started to chat more with him and slowly opened up to him. He was a great person to talk to and to confide in, even though he doesn’t talk that much to me. So most of the time it was a one-way street haha. It’s awesome that he’s got a very cute girlfriend though – hope they’ll get married soon! They both look so cute together. =)

Got him a Tiramisu on his birthday last Thursday 2nd July. I don’t think he ended up eating it though… or maybe it wasn’t that nice. Didn’t hear any feedback from him… LOL.

Oh well, I suppose there’s just a limit of how friendly I should be. I’ve done my best and if he’s not interested in striking a friendship outside of work, then I guess I shall not insist.

Went for Restaurant Week lunch with Bruno yesterday at Wooloomooloo Steakhouse again. Impeccable service, lovely complimentary warm salty bread, perfectly done steak, and to-die-for bread and butter pudding as dessert. The meal was so good! Wish I had it with a romantic partner though. But at the rate things are going, and at how I deal with relationship issues… I suppose I’ll just be alone till the end of time. Which I am okay with. Just sometimes, I fantasize otherwise, you know? Heh…

So, I’ve got a new bag

Mhm. I actually went ahead and got myself the Tom Bihn Synapse 25 which I was eyeing for some time.

First impressions: The bag is gonna last a LONG time. The ballistic nylon feels so tough! The YYK zips are not extremely smooth but they feel huge and super durable. The chipped left strap buckle brushed against my inner arm, but that’s gonna resolved soon as Tom Bihn had already sent a replacement bag over and it’s on it’s way here. Weight wise, it was a little heavy to carry on my hand, but when I carried the backpack on my back, initially it felt heavy but I noticed that no matter how much stuff I throw inside, the burden my shoulders felt actually was somewhat the same, which kinda baffled me. I’ll try more when my replacement bag comes. The back panel isn’t as breatheable as I expected it to be, but after loosening the straps (lengthening them) a little, there’s actually some room for my back to breathe and it was better.

I think I’ll do a more detailed review after a few months of using the bag to see how things go.

Tom Bihn Synapse 25 Nebulous Grey

Dreamt about my dad

Last night I dreamt about my dad again. I’ve been dreaming about him quite frequently these few nights… but last night was quite different.

It felt almost real. Everyone at home had already went to sleep. I was the last one, and before I step into my room, I heard the door opened and Dad step into the house, like how he did when he worked night shift the last time. I remembered looking at him in shock, wondering why was he back, why could he still appear in front of me in flesh. He still jokingly asked me why did I keep looking at him.

I reached out to touch him and found that I could feel him. Suddenly I just started crying, very hard, non stop, while grabbing his arm. I didn’t cry in real life as I dreamt, but I cried very hard in the dream. (Usually if I cry in the dream, I would be crying IRL too.)

Can’t remember much of the dream after that. It did continue, but I don’t remember the details.

Although I had somewhat gotten used to him not being around us anymore, I realised 我还是很想他…

I want a new bag!

As above title.

I’m looking at Tom Bihn Synapse 25 bag – but holy cow it’s expensive. However, considering it’s gonna last a lifetime, perhaps I shouldn’t hesitate too much about it…

Browsing around the site, I’ve set my sights on:-

That’s a whopping USD332, which roughly converts to about SGD451. Bleh.

Guess I’ll get it when either my Outgear or Bobby XD bag fails me…

Meh

Can’t get the “year” in the post date working despite spending 3 hours trying to look through all the CSS sheets… Am I missing something somewhere?

Small Update

Nothing much happened for the first three months of 2019.

I’ve got a small promotion at work (assistant manager now, wut?), preparing a trip to Hokkaido with mommy and Bruno (airtickets bought), went on a 4D Taipei trip with mommy and my aunt and cousins.

Still trying to not think of death and my dad too much.

Trying to move on… Trying.

I thought I have somewhat moved on.

But I guess it wouldn’t be so easy.

I still miss my Dad. I still tear up while thinking of him.

I tried to occupy my time with other things. I tried to start updating my trip journal for the Japan trip in November. But I couldn’t. I guess the trip was too close to my Dad’s incident for comfort.

I don’t know when will I be able to update the blog for that trip.

Maybe I really should have listened to my instincts and cancel/postpone that trip…

I love you Dad.

My beloved dad, who passed away on 23rd November 2018, at 23:48 at Changi Hospital.

Sudden, but at least not much suffering, which is good for him.

Perhaps I have yet to come to terms with the loss. I cried a bit here and there. But not too much yet.

I’ll miss him for sure.

But I’ll be strong. For him, for mom, for the family, for the house, for everything that he had left behind, so that he can go on his way to rebirth peacefully.

Hope he will reincarnate into a good family, get good education and take care of his health this time!

I don’t think I’ll get to reincarnate into human again after my death (I’m not that great a person this life), so I don’t think I will be his daughter again. But I totally wouldn’t mind, even though it was infuriating in the past!

I love you, Dad. 一路好走。

Happy Birthday… To Me

Yup. Just as what the title says.

I’m gonna spend my birthday in…. Bedok Polyclinic.  Sigh.  I took this leave since January (I try not to work on my birthdays), but well, now I need to bring my dad to the polyclinic for his blood test and doctor’s appointment to check on his kidney function.

Well not that I have anything much to do at home anyway.

My Tokyo trip is in 3 days’ time! It’s just a 5.25 days trip (0.25 day because we only reach Tokyo at around 4pm, and by the time we reach the hotel it’ll already be around 6+pm, hurhur) though.  Wish it’s longer! Too bad someone didn’t have much leave days to take… *sulks*