Dreamt about my dad

Last night I dreamt about my dad again. I’ve been dreaming about him quite frequently these few nights… but last night was quite different.

It felt almost real. Everyone at home had already went to sleep. I was the last one, and before I step into my room, I heard the door opened and Dad step into the house, like how he did when he worked night shift the last time. I remembered looking at him in shock, wondering why was he back, why could he still appear in front of me in flesh. He still jokingly asked me why did I keep looking at him.

I reached out to touch him and found that I could feel him. Suddenly I just started crying, very hard, non stop, while grabbing his arm. I didn’t cry in real life as I dreamt, but I cried very hard in the dream. (Usually if I cry in the dream, I would be crying IRL too.)

Can’t remember much of the dream after that. It did continue, but I don’t remember the details.

Although I had somewhat gotten used to him not being around us anymore, I realised 我还是很想他…

I want a new bag!

As above title.

I’m looking at Tom Bihn Synapse 25 bag – but holy cow it’s expensive. However, considering it’s gonna last a lifetime, perhaps I shouldn’t hesitate too much about it…

Browsing around the site, I’ve set my sights on:-

That’s a whopping USD332, which roughly converts to about SGD451. Bleh.

Guess I’ll get it when either my Outgear or Bobby XD bag fails me…

清明。。。

农历三月初一,清明节。

去了三清宫拜祭老爸。

老爸,您还好吗?我和老妈都很好。希望我们的心意您感觉得到,收得到。

想您了啊。谢谢您最近出现在我梦里。

Meh

Can’t get the “year” in the post date working despite spending 3 hours trying to look through all the CSS sheets… Am I missing something somewhere?

Small Update

Nothing much happened for the first three months of 2019.

I’ve got a small promotion at work (assistant manager now, wut?), preparing a trip to Hokkaido with mommy and Bruno (airtickets bought), went on a 4D Taipei trip with mommy and my aunt and cousins.

Still trying to not think of death and my dad too much.

Trying to move on… Trying.

I thought I have somewhat moved on.

But I guess it wouldn’t be so easy.

I still miss my Dad. I still tear up while thinking of him.

I tried to occupy my time with other things. I tried to start updating my trip journal for the Japan trip in November. But I couldn’t. I guess the trip was too close to my Dad’s incident for comfort.

I don’t know when will I be able to update the blog for that trip.

Maybe I really should have listened to my instincts and cancel/postpone that trip…

I love you Dad.

My beloved dad, who passed away on 23rd November 2018, at 23:48 at Changi Hospital.

Sudden, but at least not much suffering, which is good for him.

Perhaps I have yet to come to terms with the loss. I cried a bit here and there. But not too much yet.

I’ll miss him for sure.

But I’ll be strong. For him, for mom, for the family, for the house, for everything that he had left behind, so that he can go on his way to rebirth peacefully.

Hope he will reincarnate into a good family, get good education and take care of his health this time!

I don’t think I’ll get to reincarnate into human again after my death (I’m not that great a person this life), so I don’t think I will be his daughter again. But I totally wouldn’t mind, even though it was infuriating in the past!

I love you, Dad. 一路好走。

Happy Birthday… To Me

Yup. Just as what the title says.

I’m gonna spend my birthday in…. Bedok Polyclinic.  Sigh.  I took this leave since January (I try not to work on my birthdays), but well, now I need to bring my dad to the polyclinic for his blood test and doctor’s appointment to check on his kidney function.

Well not that I have anything much to do at home anyway.

My Tokyo trip is in 3 days’ time! It’s just a 5.25 days trip (0.25 day because we only reach Tokyo at around 4pm, and by the time we reach the hotel it’ll already be around 6+pm, hurhur) though.  Wish it’s longer! Too bad someone didn’t have much leave days to take… *sulks*